Your very own M & M’s!!
Filed under: $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I had no idea that such an amazing thing was even conceivable…up until today. I quite often talk of having a mind explosion (like the time I saw Ray Meagher at the shops)…but this nearly takes the cake! As it turns out, you can create you own M & M’s!!! Yeah totally crazy! You can get a picture of yourself or a message on them. I mean what better way to celebrate a birthday, bah mitsfah, or being 3 weeks sober! You even get the option of 3 fonts! Arial, comic sans, or brush script! I’m not kidding…you couldn’t make this stuff up! It’s like $35 (US) for 3 bags, so with shipping and conversion I would say you could get about 35-40 bags of M&M’s! Woo Hoo! EDIT: turns out they dont ship internationally AT ALL…. FAIL!!
blow my 900 m&ms!
Know what your dog is saying!!!
Filed under: $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
ZOMG!! This has to be the greatest invention of all time! Today’s Blow My 900 special is the The Bow-lingual Canine Translator!!!Yes, that’s right, KNOW WHAT YOUR DOG IS SAYING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now instead of wondering what’s on your dog’s mind you’ll be able to know which of 6 dog emotions it is feeling…• Sad• Frustrated• Alert to danger• Needy• Happy• Self-assertive ! Now it turns out that this product is currently sold out! It was $20 (US), so if and when it does come back into stock, you’ll be able to get yourself around 20 of these amazing contraptions!
-
- bow-lingual
-
- canine-translator
Awesome computer generated dog-relayed sayings like – I’m ok- how are you,Please listen to me,Please take me out of here! and I’m on top of the world, could be resonating in your ears in no time at all!!
A Fun and Exciting Fly Swatter!
Filed under: $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Sick of the boring mundane ways to kill flies?? Me too! Yesterday I received an awesome suggestion for a 1500 watt electric fly-swatter! Now you don’t have to worry about hitting the fly/mosquito onto something, just get in within range of this bad boy and it’s lights out for Louie! This one is on special and is discounted at 72%! So with the exchange and shipping I think you could get about 33 of these marvels of man-kind!
Humphrey B Bear!!
Filed under: $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Turns out that you can hire Humphrey B Bear!! What an amazing day that would be! There was no pricing listed, but how expensive could an afternoon with Humphrey B Bear be? I’m thinking that $900 would get you ATLEAST an entire weekend of tom-foolery and good times. For those who don’t know, Humphrey was a pantless, mute bear that used to be on tv…doesn’t that sound awesome?! yes, yes it does!!
Say what you will about Fat Cat, but atleast he wore pants!!!
A C-3PO costume!!
Filed under: $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Based on an incredible suggestion on Friday, I strongly recommend that you buy many C-3po costumes with your $900!! They are actually on special at the moment for only $18.99 (US) on this amazing website. So I figure with the exchange and posting you could probably pick up 22 of these wonderfully crafted c-3po costumes for $900 delivered to your door! That 2 soccer teams worth, you wouldnt even need to wash your uniforms each week! Win/Win!
Start your own droid army!
A Goat! I never thought I would buy a goat!
Filed under: $900, $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Uncategorized, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
To follow up yesterday’s suggestion of a boat, today I propose that you buy a goat! You can pick up a high quality Saanen/Nubian cross dairy goat for $75! Now, according the seller...”You can produce $20 /milk per goat per day with these girls, so pay off the cost in less than a week!!!”. They would also be handy lawnmowers, best friends, or guard goats. With your $900 stimulus money you could buy 12 goats!!
A boat! Never thought I’d be on a boat.
Filed under: $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulation Contract, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Grab your swim trunks, Flippy Floppies and you’ll be straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea!! A boat! I have always wanted a boat, pretty much more than anything. Boat owners have a certain air of class, regality and the fact that they know they are better than you. For like $500 you can pick yourself up an awesome boat on Ebay, and with the left over money you can buy yourself like 4 bottles Santana Champagne(yes THAT Santana)!!
-
- A Boat!
-
- Drinking Santana Champ cause it’s so crisp.
If you are unawares of what I’m talking about…See The Lonely Island’s video aptly titled- “On A Boat”. Caution- It’s a little profane.
A Goatee Saver!
Filed under: $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulation Contract, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I know what you are thinking…the ONE thing that holds you back from growing a goatee is the fact that they don’t look neat and tidy! Well stop that thought and check out the goatee saver! I mean people claim that penicillin or electricity are our greatest discoveries…I implore you to reconsider! Due to the exchange rate and the exorbitant shipping costs one of these will cost you $75 (AUD) delivered to your door. So, with your $900 you could buy 12 of these marvels of human ingenuity!
A date for your 10 year high school reunion!
Filed under: $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
So it turns out that my 10 year high school reunion is just around the corner and I’m still horribly alone. Is it wrong that I am even contemplating spending $900(or less) on someone to ‘accompany’ me to it? How much does this kind of thing cost? Would I need to buy her a corsage? So many questions!
BTW- This sounds like a great idea for a screenplay!
Just when you thought all your dreams had come true!
Filed under: $900, $900, $950, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Uncategorized, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Now that you know that will be getting your money on April 6th, I suggest you celebrate by also celebrating the fact that Limp Bizkit is reuniting!
Fred Durst.
So in honour of this auspicious occasion, I propose that you buy 78 COPIES of their acclaimed album…
CHOCOLATE STARFISH & THE HOT DOG FLAVORED WATER.
A smart man once said
"Give a man $900 and he can eat for a week, tell a man to vote Liberal and he wouldn't have needed the $900 to begin with."
