Day 7 of the Stimulus Season…I suggest some relaxation!
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Well I’ve just arrived back to work after the 4 day weekend and am not too keen. I also have not received my $900!! You would think after all this advocating the $900 that the Ruddz would want to expodite it to me…or give me one of these mysterious triple payments that some people are talking about! Anyways, I actually had somebody Twitter me and recommend that I purchase one of their relaxation packages! So I had a look, and it turns out you can get a chocolate massage that costs $185 for 2 hours. To be honest, I am a large chocolate fan and the thought that I can pay a possibly attractive woman to massage chocolate onto me for 2 hours warms my soul! Anyways, I think they are giving away a $1000 of massages if you sign up for their newsletter! I was stoked that someone actually approached me with their own idea…it’s a shame they didn’t give me a free massage!!! Come on!!
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- Chocolate simulation!
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- Applying the chocolate…
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- I’m assuming this is how you feel after your chocolate massage!
Stimulation Season Day 2: The First Recipient!!
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, Economic Stimulus Package, Stimulus Season, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I just got an email from someone who got their $900. Congrats Melissa!! She was stimulated via her bank account and she is late in the alphabet…so it ain’t by name order, thankfully! I can stop hating my parents for having the last name Zypper! haha
There is hope after all!!
NEWS— Second recipient reported! We are on a roll people!!!
Golf Club Toilet.
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Yes, you read correctly…GOLF CLUB TOILET. How many times have you been out on the golf course and really needed to pee? I know right, 100 maybe 200 times, well worry no more! You can blow you $900 on one of these amazing contraptions. Before doing so, I would probably watch the video to really understand what you are buying into, and yes it’s totally legit. They are $25US, and I don’t know if you can get them shipped here. But I would say you could probably get an entire “set” for your $900…
$900 worth of Coke!
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I have been receiving ALOT of complaints about my recent Hookers and Strippers suggestion from last Thursday, but it’s not what you’d expect. Apparently people were appalled that I didn’t include coke as a suggestion, cause apparently how can you have Hookers and Strippers without mentioning coke? So I figure I need to give the people what they want!! So I suggest that you purchase/hire one of these inflatable coke bottles. I figure they cost about $100 to hire for the day, then use your remaining $800 to buy ~ 685 litres of Coke and fill it! Booyah!
Buy hookers and strippers!
Filed under: $900, $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Payment
You would be surprised how many people suggest that hookers and strippers would be a good way to spend $900. Well, actually you probably wouldn’t be…cause I get a thousand emails a day about it, and you are probably one of them! So I thought I should include this suggestion seeing as everybody is thinking it! From this website you can purchase 1 hooker for $40, so with postage I would say $55, which means you could get 16 hookers for you $900. Strippers are a different story and seem to be a little bit more expensive than hookers (who woulda thought?!). You can pick up some strippers for about $60 each, delivered from this website. So for your $900 you could get 15 strippers. I hope that has answered everyone’s questions, now you can stop emailing them as a suggestion!! Talk about stimulus package!
I was bored.
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Package, Economic Stimulus Payment, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Uncategorized
I got bored and added google adwords. I really want to see if google will recommend goats, tasers, clowns and strippers to people! Also, the Rudd banner changes every couple of days, if someone has always had a dream about a caricature of rudd with ear wax saying something hilarious, let me know! Leave a comment or somethingz! Also, a friend emailed Julie Owens MP about the site and she said she was going to pass it onto Wayne Swan (yes THE WAYNE SWAN)!
Finally, I think I really want to try and get the site onto Today Tonight! Surely they would have a 5 minute segment on it?! Well if you get bored and want to suggest to them….here’s the “Suggest a Story link”
Have an awesomez day!!
Lend it back to the Government!!
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Payment
I had an excellent email suggestion the other day…why not lend the money back to the government and make interest off it! From what I can gather the government sells bonds in order to help fund things like the Stimulus Package, so by buying them not only are you helping the government give $900 to someone else, but you make money off it!! Or it’s like giving the government $900 so they can give it back to you…with interest!!!
I attempted to make a flow chart to demonstrate this that ended BADLY. Instead I give you this amazing flow chart as seen on graphjam.com!
Looks like you can only buy in amounts of $1000 so you may have to swindle some money off a friend!
Start your own glamour photography business!
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Payment
I was in an undisclosed NSW shopping centre the other day and passed one of those “Glamour Photography” stalls. It had a picture of an old lady with a sign that said…guess her age for a free picture! I put 134, but thats beside the point…I honestly think this would be a great way to spend your $900. In fact, all you need is a free image editor(paint.net, the gimp), a stall and some spruiking abilities. From the pictures that were plastered all over this stall I figure there are 3 steps needed…Step 1- Cut a hole in the box (lullz0r). Dress the person in some kid of 80’s cowboy outfit (with or without pants) and lie them on a sheepskin rug. Step 2- Take the photo and then apply the effects “Softener” and “Glow”. Step 3-Sell the photo for $50!
Kevin37! A 37inch LCD TV!
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Payment
So I received word of the first real “Cash Grab” for your $900! Kogan has released the KEVIN37, which is pretty much it sounds like…a 37 inch LCD tv for $900. It’s a little misleading because you still need to pay S+H which will set you back another $50-$100! I mean I’m all for targetting people with catchy slogans, but atleast make it $900 delivered to your door! But on the bright side, you do get a free KEVIN37 T-Shirt! Nearly seems worth it. Actually I saw a 37inch Sony Bravia at Kmart this week for $999, which is reckon is a better deal…even though it doesn’t come with a tshirt!
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- We’ll make it up to you in the year 2000 and 9.
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- You think this is funny now, just wait 28 years!
Less than a month!
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Just wanted to say, it’s less than a month until the first of the payments start hitting those wallets!!! I can taste it!
A smart man once said
"Give a man $900 and he can eat for a week, tell a man to vote Liberal and he wouldn't have needed the $900 to begin with."
