Stimulus Suggestion: Go on a Somali Cruise

I have just been passed this amazing suggestion by my lame co-worker! He has found a site that are selling Somali cruises that “sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates”. I mean everyone is looking for a bit of adventure aren’t they?
They even, “guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back, including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included)“. Anyways it made me chuckle on this fine Friday afternoon. I hope that if you haven’t got your money yet that it comes in the next day!!1!!

Somalian Pirate Flag

Somalian Pirate Flag

Stimulation suggestion: Start your own blog!

Today’s recommendation is to start your own blog! I mean, to be honest the world needs more awesomez blogs! So I have taken my own advice and started a new blogging sensation called Shirtweek- The best blog in Australia! Basically, atleast once a week I’ll do a blog post and then have my graphic artist buddy (N4NN4N4P) make a tshirt that best represents it! We don’t make any money from the shirts, and don’t ever intend to sell any, but we thought it would be fun!! So go and check it out!

shirtweek the best blog in australia LoLlZeR!!

shirtweek the best blog in australia LoLlZeR!!

Stimulus Suggestion- Gaming jacket to increase your 1337 h4xX0rzz!

I don’t know about you, but I’m particularly anti-social. Well it’s not so much that I hate society but that society hates me. I’m so lonely. Anyways, I have overcome this crippling agoraphobia through online gaming!! There is no better to escape the real world then by creating your own personal world where you are totally awesome, everyone loves you and no-one pities you for not having a lover or any kind of success! So in order to enhance this situation I recommend purchasing a First Person Shooter Gaming Vest!!! You may not be able to experience real emotions and interactions with people in the actual world but this jacket will help feel the impact of what it might feel like if someone was to shoot you! What is more awesome than that? Life-long companionship? A successful career? I think NOT!! These jackets are only $138 US+P&H, so I’m guessing you could probably secure one for like $350! Bargain! A small price to pay, I think you’ll agree!

Payment Alerts.

I got one of those pop-up windows when I logged into internet banking today that was like…be notified when you receive your $900 stimulus package! So I’m like heck yes!  I added an email alert to let me know when I get $900 deposited into my account…I think you can even pay like 25c to be alerted by SMS!!!

Also if you wanna read day 3 of the Brian Pape Vs The world High Court transcript….here is the LINK!

High Court Rules in favour of Brian Pape = April Fools!

That’s right, you heard it here first. The case brought against the Australian government in regards to the legitimacy of the $900 stimulus package has been successful and unfortunately it doesn’t look like we will be getting the payment in the near future (source)! I’m pretty annoyed at this news, especially as it’s so close to the date that we were supposed to get it. My friend thinks that this whole thing was a giant conspiracy so that we would spend our $900 package in anticipation of receiving the money! Can we appeal this decision? Someone has to surely?? I hope so, or it’s bye bye to stimulation money!!

Newsflash: Brian Pape Gunned down on his way to court!  http://ozaccounting.com.au/2009/04/bryan-pape-gunned-down-on-his-way-to-court/

A novelty Haircut!

One of my regular contributors finally sent me something worthwhile, so I thought I would share it. Ted sugegsts that we use the money to purchase novelty haircuts! It surely would put me in a great mood if my annoying co-worker came in tomorrow with his hair shaped like a 19th century whaling boat or a banana.  The BM900 staff enquired about getting their hair shaped into a 19th century whaling boat and were politely told by the hairdresser down at the local shop  (‘The Hairem’)  …”it would cost about $320″. So there you go! Here are some examples for you stimulus package spendage….

Squirrel Underpants.

I know I know, you are like…Blow My 900 is usually so informative and the ONLY place you come to in order to know what to spend your $900 stimulus payment on!! But today, the staff around here decided that it should be a little “silly”, it is after all, so darn close to the “Stimulation Season”. So today we recommend…Squirrel Underpants!! Not only do we not have squirrels here, but I’ve met a few squirrels in my time but you would be hard pressed to catch one and then put garments on them. I guess you could put these underpants on a small dog/cat or perhaps a possum? But I’m sure you’ve had some annoying person say to you…soo….what are you going to spend your $900 stimulus package  money on?? Now you can excitedly reply with 80 pairs of  SQUIRREL UNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Squirrel Underpants FTW

Squirrel Underpants FTW

Bright Feet Slippers!

Have you ever broken a toe or fallen over an object at night while moving around a darkened house? How about trying to rearrange your samurai sword collection with no lights on? Well worry no more!!! I present to you the Bright Feet lighted Slipper! Not only will you prevent your own grievous bodily harm but you will save hundreds on electricity bills!! Sure they would probably cost you $100 shipped from ebay to begin with, but surely thats worth never having to turn a light on in your house ever again!!! Just something to think about I guess….

Bright Feet!

Bikini Jeans!!

A very fashion forward friend of mine informed me that she was going to place an order for these as soon as that sweet sweet $900 stimulus package hit her account. What more can you say about Bikini Jeans? Except for the fact they are crazy expensive! I mean you don’t even get all of the jeans. You would be better off buying a normal pair of jeans, cutting off the waist area and fashioning it into a bikini and then reattaching it! Maybe I should start making patterns? Well they are $94.29 US which is like  $143 a pair! That’s 6 pairs for your $900 which I guess is enough pairs for you and your bridesmaids.
bikinijean

Uh-Oh Spaghettio!! They want to stop the Stimulus?!

Some “guy” is taking the stimulation package to the High Court!! I don’t even understand what Bryan Pape  is claiming?! He has problems with the way the bonus is being delivered by the government or something and is saying that it’s unconstitutional. I guess he must be in the upper tax bracket and doesn’t want ANYONE to get the $900 if he cant! If we don’t get it, I think I may need to invoice him for $900…

Source- Sydney Morning Herald
The gentleman who is responsibile- Bryan Pape

What is this site?!

I thought it would be fun to make a website that made awesome suggestions for spending the $900 stimulus package, so this is my attempt! Have a look around, get comfortable, take your shoes off and maybe pour yourself a glass of cordial.

What Google wants you to spend your stimulus money on!!! LULZ!!!!




More things Google want you to spend your stimulus on (aka I'm trying to fill up all the white space on this page!)!