Stimulus Suggestion- Gaming jacket to increase your 1337 h4xX0rzz!
Filed under: $900 government payment, Economic Stimulus Package, Economic Stimulus Payment, Stimulus Package Suggestion
I don’t know about you, but I’m particularly anti-social. Well it’s not so much that I hate society but that society hates me. I’m so lonely. Anyways, I have overcome this crippling agoraphobia through online gaming!! There is no better to escape the real world then by creating your own personal world where you are totally awesome, everyone loves you and no-one pities you for not having a lover or any kind of success! So in order to enhance this situation I recommend purchasing a First Person Shooter Gaming Vest!!! You may not be able to experience real emotions and interactions with people in the actual world but this jacket will help feel the impact of what it might feel like if someone was to shoot you! What is more awesome than that? Life-long companionship? A successful career? I think NOT!! These jackets are only $138 US+P&H, so I’m guessing you could probably secure one for like $350! Bargain! A small price to pay, I think you’ll agree!
Stimulus Suggestion: A Fancy new Suit.
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season
This is part 3 of “My Brother is Getting Married” and I’m thinking that my $900 would be best spent on an amazing suit for his wedding. Not some fancy shmancy DKNY or Dolce and Gabana suit but a LazyPatch duvet suit of course!!!!! They are only $110 delivered(!!!!) for a full suit , so you get yourself EIGHT of them!!! That’s one for each day and a spare for washing day, or a special occaision- like my brother’s wedding!!! Here are some reasons why the are awesome (according to the site)-
- No need to get out from under the quilt while leaving the couch (great for those quick toilet breaks!)
- Pretend you’re in the opening snow scene from The Empire Strikes Back.
Watch the video…it’s amazing.
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Stimulus Package Suggestion- A Laserdisc Player
Filed under: $900 government payment, 900 stimulus package, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I love redundant technologies! It is quite common to see me rollerblading along the beach with my Sony mini-disc listening to TaxiRide and thinking about how much I love Fags . So now I recommend that you purchase a laser disc player with your $900 stimulus package. A mate of mine has one, and tbh it is like 12-13x better than blu-ray, no lie. If you have never experienced laserdisc, it’s pretty safe to say that you have never experienced life to its fullest!
Stimulus Package= LaserDisc!
Stimulus Suggestion- Rope-less Skipping rope
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, 900 stimulus package, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I don’t know about you, but the main reason that I don’t do a whole lot more skipping, is because of that pesky rope! (*loud voice*) Well do I have the product for you…..Introducing the Jump Snap!!(/end loud voice) To be honest with you, when my lame co-worker showed me this, I thought it was fake. It is a skipping rope, that doesn’t have a rope,that’s it. Also, from what I can gather, it apparently has a “computer” that tells you how you are doing, how many skips you’ve done and how many calories you’ve burned. They are like$40US, but I’m sure “Moira” will be selling them soon, so hold onto your money til then!! Also— Stimuluation Season DAY 2..Still no money!!
Happy Stimulus Season!! Stimulation begins today…
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Economic Stimulus Package, Stimulus Season, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Well today is the glorious day that people start receiving their $900! It’s going to be a nervous 6 weeks for a lot of us, checking our bank accounts and waiting for those 18,000 5 cent pieces to come rolling our way!!!! I have my bank account rigged so that when that sweet $900 hits my account I get an email! I’ll be down to JB quicker than Kevin Rudd can bring an air stewardess to tears.
It would be great to hear from people as they get the $900, so it gives the rest of us hope that the money will soon be in our cold, economically down-turned hands! I have created a page called Lucky Ones that will list people that have received the payment and a notible fact about themselves…maybe we can find a pattern?! Like if there was alot of lonely, single, unattractive men with too much time on their hands getting their stimulus’ packages…I would know that mine can’t be too far away!!
So if you’ve got your stimulus package let me know! Also, if you spend your stimulus package…send me a comment or twitter me and let me know WHICH of my suggestions you actually used!
Students may end up with $1850!!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulus Package News, Uncategorized, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Breaking news….
Due to the “urgent” nature of the stimulus package, no-one bothered to double check to see if it was fair/would work. According to news.com.au “UP to 340,000 students across Australia are set to pocket a $1850 double bonus from the Federal Government because of a loophole in the national stimulus package.”
Yikes! So yeah it seems as though students that work and entitled to both the payment for students and the payment for workers. I’m not 100% sure on whether this is all true, but if news.com.au says it’s true…it must be! lulz0rz.
Stimulus Packages start coming next week! The stimulus season is nearly upon us!
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Package, Stimulus Package News, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
The ATO have released a statement saying that the $900 stimulus payment will start rolling out next week and will will take up to 6 weeks for all of them to be delivered! I’m not sure whether direct deposit people will get it first or how it all works, but we will keep you posted! Also- Let us know when you receive your stimulus package so we can help spread the stimulation to those who haven’t been fully stimulated yet!
I really hope these things aren’t sent out in alphabetical order, cause I’m totally screwed…
Brian Pape rejected!!! Stimulus package is a go!!!!!!
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Package, Stimulus Package News
Well you heard it here first, or unless you have seen THIS ARTICLE…but the $900 stimulus package fight by Brian Pape has been rejected by the High Court!!!! Booyah! I think this may have put the payments back a bit. Originally they were meant to be sent out today, but I’m guessing it will be next week now!!!
Stun gun/pepper spray dispenser.
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, Stimulus Season, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
As you may have seen, I attempted to April Fool people yesterday with varying degrees of effectiveness. Actually I did receive a phonecall from somebody at their wits end pleading for it not to be true, and an explanation to their husband as to where they are going to get the $900 to pay for 6 pairs of bikini jeans they had ordered! Anyways, I also arrived at work to find that someone had programmed my computer to play 3 Richard Marx songs on repeat, and they hid it as a duplicate system process so I couldnt find it, awesome. Anyways, next year I will be ready… I know this is a bit of a rehash on the mobilephone and knuckle duster tasers post from oh so long ago, but I thought it was fitting. This thing is amazing! You can either tase then pepper spray them, or pepper spray them and then tase them! So many options. I totally think that these things would be illegal in Australia, but I just thought I would share it.
Hire Fat Cat for the day.
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, Stimulus Season, Uncategorized, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
A little while ago I suggested that you hire out Humphrey B Bear for the day, and well there was quite a backlash in regards to Fat Cat and his availability to be hired. Well fret no more! Turns that you can hire Fat Cat, well at least you can in Perth! The page also says you can buy Fat Cat dolls! I know that Perth are literally behind the times due to time differences, but seriously is Fat Cat still on television over there?! Can anyone confirm this? Sand ‘gropers’ I’m looking at you! Anyways, imagine how cool it would be to hire Fat Cat or a Fat Cat suit and go into work wearing it! Take casual Friday to a whole new level!!!!
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- THE Fat Cat
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- An actual Fat Cat.
A smart man once said
"Give a man $900 and he can eat for a week, tell a man to vote Liberal and he wouldn't have needed the $900 to begin with."
